When I was in 6th grade, my best friend moved back to town, and Mama would always take us to do things together after school. One of our favorite things was going to a place down by the levee called the Sand Bar. It was almost always half empty, and when we got there, my parents would go sit at the bar. We would head directly to the booth in the back and situate ourselves in front of one of the two TVs.
Here’s the best part: the cook would then come out from behind the back, hand us the remote, and ask us if we were having fries or a baked potato with our chicken tenders before leaving. Never had to ask anything else (unless we happened to have an off craving for burgers that day or something).
Then, we’d tune the TV to cartoons and break out our Yu-Gi-Oh! cards and duel. Well, one evening, we went to the bathroom together, and I realized there was blood staining my panties. So, I asked her if she had borrowed a pair of white panties from me recently, and she said no.
She had bloomed quicker, but I caught up in a few short months. I told her to go get mama (who was pretty horrified all things considered), and they told me to stuff toilet paper in my panties until we made it home.
It was a Tuesday, November, 2002. The 5th, if I remember right. It’ll always be one of my favorite memories. Since then, the Sand Bar has closed its doors. The cook supposedly moved to the bar across the street, but that was years ago.
Late at night, in the depth of me, I think about how we can’t go back.
- Them: I don't think kids should be exposed to gay relationships.
- You: Why not?
- Them: It's introducing children to sexuality! They're too young for that!
- You: So when a prince and princess kiss in a Disney movie, are they introduced to sexuality? When the prince and the princess get married and have a child, is that introducing your child to sexuality?
- Them: NO! But if they see a man and a man, or a woman and a woman together... they're going to start asking questions! Like how a man and a man can... you know, do anything together.
- You: You think the only thing people think when they see a gay couple is "I wonder how they have sex"? Furthermore, you think a CHILD is going to even know what that means? When the prince and the princess kiss, does your 4 year old daughter ask, "mommy, how do people have intercourse"? No. She just sees two people in love. If you remember when you were a kid, you probably didn't think about sex every time you saw two people happy together.
- Them: But it'll bring up all kinds of questions, it'll confuse my child!
- You: Then be a fucking parent and explain it to your child. The only question that might be brought up is "mom, why don't you want gay people to be happy?". And when you don't have a good answer for that question, you can look your child in the eye and say "It's because I'm a bigot".
Tony Porter: A Call To Men
"Tony is the original visionary and co-founder behind A CALL TO MEN: The National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence Against Women. He is the author of "Well Meaning Men...Breaking Out of the Man Box - Ending Violence Against Women" and the visionary for the book, NFL Dads Dedicated to Daughters.
Tony's message of accountability is welcome and supported by many grassroots and established organizations. He’s currently working with numerous domestic and sexual violence programs, the National Football League, the National Basketball Association, colleges and universities around the country. He has worked with the United States Military Academy at West Point and the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis.
Tony is an international lecturer for the U.S. State Department having worked in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, United Kingdom and Brazil. In addition, he has been a guest presenter for the United Nations' Commission on the Status of Women and has been a script consultant for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." - (x)
this is so important.